The first puns today are a little bit longer. Explanations are given with each one.

A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger." ("carrion" = "carry on"; dead meat vs. hand-carried luggage)

One boll weevil became the king of his kind; another remained a commoner. The second one, then, was the lesser of two weevils. ("two weevils" = "two evils"; a weevil is a pest. And there is a common expression, "the lesser of two evils.")

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him US$500 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he didn't want to take the bet because the steaks were too high. ("steaks" = "stakes"; the term "high stakes" refers to a large bet)

A woman gave up her identical twin sons to be adopted. One went to a family in Egypt who named him Ahmal; the other went to Spain, where he was named Juan. Many years later, Juan sent his birth mother a picture of himself. When she saw it, she told her husband that she wished she had a picture of Ahmal, too. Her husband said, "Why? They look the same! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." (If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.)

A man once told his friends 10 puns, hoping that one of them would make his friends laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did. (Sometimes when we accidentally make a pun, we say, "No pun intended.")

And here are a few more short ones:

A lens maker caught his finger in the grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself. ("to make a spectacle of oneself" means to cause people to stare; and of course "spectacles" is another word for "eyeglasses.")

The man who fell into the upholstery machine is fully recovered. (When we redo the upholstery of a piece of furniture, we say it's "recovered"--covered again. And when someone is sick and feels well again, we also call him "recovered.")

You didn't hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well. (A "well" is a "big hole in the ground." And we often say, "Well, well, well" to comment on something mildly surprising.)